12. Midnight treats
My children have started to go by the new routine and obediently (well, almost) put their screens in the basket at lunchtime, dinnertime and overnight. And no, I haven't set my alarm to check if they were using them in the middle of the night. I am not that mad yet. And they are not such addicts. Yet. Thanks to their mama 😉.
So, yes, that is good but good children and a peaceful family life does not provide inspiration for the blogger I have become.
So I thought I was going to have to skip a day's writing. 😱
I tried to save my evening and to suggest to my now well-functioning family that we could watch Hamlet together instead of Harry Potter number 263. This did not go down well and the family started dis-functioning again. And I seemed to be the cause of this. 😱
'Not Hamlet!'
'Not Shakespeare!'
'Not something old!'
'Not something boring!'
'Not something ...'
'STOP!' I said. 'OK. I got it.'
So I went off to bed sulking to watch Hamlet on my own on my laptop. 'Addict' I heard a voice in my head. 😱 I was going mad! For real! Maybe Hamlet was not such a good idea after all. But stubborn I am. And fearless, so on went Hamlet. A crazy version too were men are women and women are men. Just to add to the madness. This was a very bad choice indeed. And a terrible evening. Add to this the fact that it is WEEK 5 of lockdown ... my worst fears were turning into reality.
... ... ... ... Hours later ...
I wake up. (No, I hadn't slapped anyone in my dreams this time.)
This time it is a smell that wakes me up. A burning smell!
My house is on fire! Oh my goodness! My house is burning! My house is on fire. I start yelling. I shake my husband who is snoring peacefully. He does not wake up. I start yelling louder. 'Fire! Fire!'
'Where is the fire extinguisher?' My husband has gone back to sleep! Can you believe it?
Suddenly it dawns on me. This is a job for a woman.
So I run out of the bedroom, fly down the stairs and cross the lounge at full speed noticing something in the corner of my eye but not paying too much attention to it. The situation is an EMERGENCY. And I am A WOMAN IN CHARGE. I am rushing outside, crossing the terrasse and going to the monsters-house (no time to explain) rummaging around the mess in there in the dark to find the bloody fire-extinguisher. (I can't even find the light switch!) At the very back of my mind something feels odd but I do not pay attention to it as I am the WOMAN IN CHARGE. Things are falling over me and tumbling down noisily, paint pots and sanding tools and golf clubs and tennis rackets and bicycle pumps. You name it, it crashes down on top of me echoing into the night.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I jump. I scream. I feel like I am having a heart-attack. Oh-my-God-Oh-my-God-Oh-my-God. I see flames everywhere.
Then a human voice. A firefighter?
'Mum?'
...
'It's just the cookie dough.'
'The cookie dough?' Human voice is my son's voice. No flames, my son has found the light switch.
'Yes... I like cookie dough when I'm watching a movie so I made some: flour, one egg, some sugar and chocolate chips. And in the oven just enough to warm it all up so the egg is not yucky but I forgot it so it burnt... but it's ok, I promise I'll clean up in the morning.'
So, yes, that is good but good children and a peaceful family life does not provide inspiration for the blogger I have become.
So I thought I was going to have to skip a day's writing. 😱
I tried to save my evening and to suggest to my now well-functioning family that we could watch Hamlet together instead of Harry Potter number 263. This did not go down well and the family started dis-functioning again. And I seemed to be the cause of this. 😱
'Not Hamlet!'
'Not Shakespeare!'
'Not something old!'
'Not something boring!'
'Not something ...'
'STOP!' I said. 'OK. I got it.'
So I went off to bed sulking to watch Hamlet on my own on my laptop. 'Addict' I heard a voice in my head. 😱 I was going mad! For real! Maybe Hamlet was not such a good idea after all. But stubborn I am. And fearless, so on went Hamlet. A crazy version too were men are women and women are men. Just to add to the madness. This was a very bad choice indeed. And a terrible evening. Add to this the fact that it is WEEK 5 of lockdown ... my worst fears were turning into reality.
... ... ... ... Hours later ...
I wake up. (No, I hadn't slapped anyone in my dreams this time.)
This time it is a smell that wakes me up. A burning smell!
My house is on fire! Oh my goodness! My house is burning! My house is on fire. I start yelling. I shake my husband who is snoring peacefully. He does not wake up. I start yelling louder. 'Fire! Fire!'
'Where is the fire extinguisher?' My husband has gone back to sleep! Can you believe it?
Suddenly it dawns on me. This is a job for a woman.
So I run out of the bedroom, fly down the stairs and cross the lounge at full speed noticing something in the corner of my eye but not paying too much attention to it. The situation is an EMERGENCY. And I am A WOMAN IN CHARGE. I am rushing outside, crossing the terrasse and going to the monsters-house (no time to explain) rummaging around the mess in there in the dark to find the bloody fire-extinguisher. (I can't even find the light switch!) At the very back of my mind something feels odd but I do not pay attention to it as I am the WOMAN IN CHARGE. Things are falling over me and tumbling down noisily, paint pots and sanding tools and golf clubs and tennis rackets and bicycle pumps. You name it, it crashes down on top of me echoing into the night.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I jump. I scream. I feel like I am having a heart-attack. Oh-my-God-Oh-my-God-Oh-my-God. I see flames everywhere.
Then a human voice. A firefighter?
'Mum?'
...
'It's just the cookie dough.'
'The cookie dough?' Human voice is my son's voice. No flames, my son has found the light switch.
'Yes... I like cookie dough when I'm watching a movie so I made some: flour, one egg, some sugar and chocolate chips. And in the oven just enough to warm it all up so the egg is not yucky but I forgot it so it burnt... but it's ok, I promise I'll clean up in the morning.'
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