55. Shopping habits (2/2)

After the traumatising change of brand and colour for specific bathroom supplies, I thought about gathering the family to tell them an other new item was coming their way but finally decided against it. Maybe this time they would all take the change in their stride.

So I just put the 'new' item in its regular place. And waited. Not unlike when you place a mouse trap and wait for it to do the job.

Don't sob, readers, life is cruel, it is a jungle out there. 

And sure enough ... only hours later:

'Mum!'

Sigh.

'Mum!' Louder this time.

Eyes (mine) roll up to the ceiling.

'Mum!' Is she screaming or am I hypersensitive? And then, right on cue:

'There's no soap for the washing machine.' 

She is definitely on the loud side.  

'Yes, there is.' I reply in an (over) friendly singsong tone of voice.

'No, there isn't! ... And I've got an urgent wash to put on. Did you not get some? It was on the list.' 

Can a wash be qualified as 'urgent'? And should it then be followed by an urgent drying session? Does she not remember the time when her brother attempted to fast dry his P.E. kit using the hair dryer and the shorts melted into a kind of black gooey mess? 

I want to ask but I don't. I am so calm. My new vegetarian routine (thank you early-bird reader for the inspirational comment 😉) started this week. So this very morning I had ewe's milk yogurt with lucuma and Irish moss washed down with macha water. Or is it the 3-minute mediation routine that comes with the new diet? Whatever it is, I feel totally relaxed and so in control of tricky-situation-number-635b that I get up from my seat and take a leisurely stroll to the washing machine, humming to myself. I arrive in front of my now irate daughter and just point silently towards the soap.

'You on that silent thing again?' She looks at me a little stressed, I would like to suggest adopting my early morning routine but I hesitate and decide that maybe an other time.

'No, just kindly helping you to locate the urgently-required essential item.'

She looks at me with an expression that I know too well. Definitely a good breakfast routine. Normally this would send me in a raging rant about respect and education and the state of the world. But I just stroll back to my desk, pleased with myself. It is a great feeling. 

The following morning.

'I brought all my bedsheets down and guess what? No more soap for the washing machine! What am I supposed to do?'

This is Maths-Head girl and she is bound to look at this from an analytical perspective but this morning I had jook topped with dried shrimps and wolf-berries (washed down with macha water again as -surprisingly - I am the only one to drink it) and so I am not fazed at all by tricky-situation-number-636b.

 

I look at her and point to the washing machine and to the soap.

'That box?'

'Yes. That box.'

'You know, mum, I wish you'd tell us when you go all weird. Breakfast and silent vows and all that is ok but shopping! It affects us all.'

'Yeah! Sure, sweetie.'

She turns around and stares at me one eye-brow raised.

'You ok?'

'Yeah! Sure! Perfect. Why?'

'Nothing.'

'You know ... sweetheart, does it really matter if soap to wash your clothes comes in as liquid or as powder and whether it is in a bottle or a box. Does it?'

She's going to blow her top. I really need to try and get my girls to adopt my new super healthy routine.

I am happy though as I think that's it. Problem solved. The men in my household don't do the washing anyway and number 4 has brought herself up and I have to admit she did a better job at that than I did on the other 3. So all's good. I can relax - for real.

But then, a few days later, my son is on an urgent wash project as he has just found out that training is back on his agenda.

But he, unlike his sisters, does not stay staring at the washing machine waiting for me to check things. No! He comes barging in the living room.

'I need soap to wash my kit. Can I use washing up liquid? Or shower gel? (He's already heading towards the shower room) Which one? ... Come on please! Which one is best?'

The positive effects of my new breakfast routine have long worn off.

'Can't you read? What does it say on that box? .... It says Laundry detergent. I wonder what that means! If you were getting on a bit faster with The Great Gatsby maybe you would know the meaning of these two words! And don't you dare discuss that point with me! The liquid soap in a bottle: no more, finish. Now we do powder, in cardboard box. OK?'

'Ok! I get it! No need to go mad at me!'

'And remember, please, NOT to blow dry your shorts!'