72. A whiff of adventure (3)

I am now the one asking questions, just like a kid before Christmas. Is it ready? When is it going to be ready? Where are we going to put it? Do I need to buy a red bandana? A fringed leather jacket? Both?

The answers my husband gives me are the ones parents give to their children.

'We just have to wait.'

'How long?' I reply, again like a child who won't drop the topic.

'Not sure. A couple of months. Maybe more.' He replies patiently.

This is not fun. I hate waiting. A little waiting is fine but not this. At least with Christmas you always know how long you have to wait. Come to think of Christmas. I'm thinking of adding the fringed jacket and the red bandana on my list, just in case. 

'I've told you already. It's not a Harley. But buy a red bandana and get it out of your system. But NO fringed jacket please.'

'You're not fun. And I am bored with waiting. We need an other project. A quicker one.'

'Quite right. Because after the waiting, there will be even more waiting. But I don't call it waiting, I call it preparation.'

Now my husband is beginning to annoy me a little. This is a word I hate. I hate it even in recipes: preparation time: 30 minutes. And you've been at it one hour and nothing is ready and the kitchen is a bomb site.

'We're not talking about cooking.' He says, unhelpfully.

So I do what we all do these days, I ask Google. I type in the words 'how to prepare your adventure'. And you'll never guess. The first thing Google tells me to get is ... a collapsible sink!!! Honestly Google I know you are having problems with the French justice but this is taking it a bit far. I cannot think of anything more uncool under the Christmas tree than a collapsible sink! For goodness sake!

I try a bit harder and give it a second click. This time the answer is 'rain jacket'! And I am not even making this up! Google, you are not a human being but if you were, going on an adventure with you would be just plain boring. Sorry.

I try again. I browse through several websites run by young people so I think I am in good hands here but all they talk about is packing. Hey! excuse-me, I am going on an adventure! I'm not packing! Packing's for organised holidays: beach on Monday, sailing on Tuesday, hiking on Thursday, cocktails after 8 PM. I do not want to think about what brand of water bottle and what type of ice packs and I certainly do not want to buy icebreaker leggings (what on earth are ice-breaker leggings? Sounds a bit scary to me).

I think it is a question of vocabulary here. I am talking adventure but these young folks are talking expeditions. Like pros. But hey kids, these days are over, planet Earth has been criss-crossed. Unless you want to go underwater ... then remember to purchase some wave-breaker leggings.

I think real adventure is to go unprepared! You know, grab a few things, get into the (surprise) chosen means of transport and off you go. Stop when you see a beautifully shaped tree cut against the pure blue skies, and since we forgot the collapsible sink we will just have to eat with our grubby hands, just like when we were kids and did not give a toss.

A collapsible sink! Honestly! I still can't get over that ... Can you?