251. The teacher (2/2)

I start with the sorting out of the papers into two piles. All the while thinking this rigmarole is ridiculous and why can't I get on with my work the way normal people do.

I place one pile to my left and one to my right and decide to tackle the bigger pile first. I straighten up. I sharpen my pencil. I clean my rubber (please don't smirk). I take a sip of coffee and I dive in. Head first.

...

I have not even finished reading the first (very confusing) sentence that I have to stop and enter an error into the 'unforgivable errors' column. 

I use my super sharp pencil and diligently copy out the unforgivable error onto my page. 

I go back to the paper and … oh! There is an other - unforgivable -error. I am beginning to think this is a bad idea. Logging all these errors is going to be time-consuming. 

I have only read a third of the first paper and already my head is swimming. I  cannot make any sense of all this. I have to constantly refer to the question paper to see what all this is about. Maybe I've got the wrong papers? Maybe I'm marking something I shouldn't be marking and these are my colleagues' papers.

I get up, walk all the way to the kitchen, and all the way around the dining table and back into the lounge and back around the dining table table again and then up the stairs right to the top of the house and back down again. This is not good I say to myself, you have to stick to it, go on! Are you a wimp or what?

I go back and sit at my desk. I make a huge effort, take a deep breath and plunge into the muddy waters of exam papers. I decide to just read on till the end without stopping. So I take a deep breath and hold it in, promising myself an other breath only when I get to the end of the paper. 

This seems to be working. I exhale and inhale deeply. Keeping the inhale-exhale rhythm steady, I get hold of the official marking grid (yes, grid, and please don't smirk)) and start to match the muddled musings to the befuddled descriptions of the official marking grid then come up with a number which (it says so in the grid) I have to divide by 5 and then multiply by 4, then I have to come up with an other number which I divide by 5. Both results are added to get the definite mark. Shrewd thinking if you ask me.

I have done one paper. I have to call my husband. He can sense by the tone of my voice that he has to take the call. I tell him I've just started to mark papers. 

'How's it going?'

'Well ... I've only done one so far.' I tell him about the task at hand.

'Sounds exhausting ... And a never-ending task!'

And as I keep silent, he adds:

'I'll mark them for you tonight, don't worry.'

That kicks me into action. My husband marking the papers would be a terrible thing, it would be done under an hour and the grades would be so bad I would have an army of parents chasing me with saucepans and broomsticks. And I'd end up in the head's office again. And I don't think I'd get away with getting up and slamming the door again mid-meeting. 

So I take an other deep breath - and hold it in - and rush till the end until I get to do the bit of Maths. And repeat. I quickly get into a regular rhythm. I get to the end of the first pile and I realise I haven't entered any errors in the unforgivable errors column. In order to do this properly I would have to equip myself with an oxygen bottle, a mask and a snorkel. Now, that would be ridiculous.

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