321. Teaching

 I havent written about my great teaching practices in a while. But today dear blog I need to share this with you. 

It started with a reading task: the kids (the big kids, the very very big kids) had to read a problem page from a (fake) magazine where three people had written in to find a solution to their problems. The big kids (my pupils) had to come up with the solutions. This, I thought, was both challenging, entertaining and useful. After three minutes of giving them the reading sheet I was already losing my temper. I was glaring at them, checking if their eyes were actually focusing on the written words and it became very obvious very quickly  that they did not care at all about the problem page.

'Magazines don't exist any more, Miss!'

'They're extinct.' The kid said the word slowly struggling to run the two syllables together and he was so proud to manage it he yelled a bit too loud which had a knock-on effect.

'Yeah! Ex-tinct.' They all started shouting the word.

'Quiet!' I yelled. 'Just say it's a blog, or even an Instagram post. Whatever. Just read. OK?'

Their eyes went back to the paper but I could see their hands trying to reach the pockets of their jeans or their hoodies. I knew what they were trying to do. They were trying to reach their phones to put my stupid problem page through a translation app.

That's when I - surprisingly - lost patience.

I banged the pile of tests papers from the previous lesson on the desk. 

'Now! We are reading this. Together. Right, you, go!'

So now I had to listen. And then I couldn't decide as usual whether I should interrupt and correct or not. I could not remember what the official texts recommended. I decided not to interrupt, I did not want this exercice to last more than it had to. I concentrated on my face so as not to reveal the suffering and the irritation that were growing in intensity within me and frowned a bit as if I were really striving to understand the mishmash coming of the teenager's mouth. (No, none of my superiors are going to come across this page.)

'Great job!' I lied. 'Now what don't you write your dream jobs or dream life down so we can discuss all this as a class?'

I had to force a few dreams on them, even ending up doing a bit of match-making to trigger some reactions out there but eventually we had all the dreams up on the board. To make it all even more exciting and to increase motivation in the troops I had this - honestly, brilliant - idea to give them each a strip of paper. The origami approach. As I was tearing the paper out in front of them (ill-prepared, again) and I explained.

'Right, kids, now we are going to play a guessing game. You have to GUESS (I shout the word at the top of my voice even though I am a language teacher and I know that increasing the volume does not increase understanding), I said: GUESS; do you understand that word?'

'Yes!' One girl shouted. 'It's a brand! Clothes and bags and stuff.'

'No, wrong answer.' The girl shrugs and goes in a huff so signify that I am not cool.

I plod on. 

'YOU have to GUESS ... (let the word sink in) ... what your teacher's dream life is ... teacher ... ME ... (lots of pointing of the fingers towards my own person, right and left at the same time), DREAM (more shouting and lots of wild angry circling of the sentences on the board). And the winner will get a prize.'

'A real one?' 

'Yes, a real one. Not a virtual one.'

'Can we know what prize?'

'It's a surprise. Anyway I'm almost certain no-one will guess.'

Now they are all discussing the prize instead of playing the game ... I hear words such as pencils, good grades till the end of the year, a meal ticket for the cafeteria ... and they are wondering whether it is really worth the effort. This job is an exhausting job. I am tired now. I might get angry any minute. I can feel it.

'LISTEN!' I yell again. 'You are not leaving this room unless I get my slip of paper with something written on it. And write your name on it.'

I added this as an afterthought to avoid the worst type of guesses.

They filed out of the classroom, giving me the slip of already grubby paper.

Once everyone was out I started to read them wondering if I had to go into town to buy sweets as a prize for the winner.

What do you think readers? Will there be a winner? I bet you would win.