309. The Midnight Visitor (3)

 When we wake up the following morning everything seems like a weird dream. The fact that the car keys are still missing prompts my husband to immediately set off for a walk with the dog. Fruitless. We have breakfast and start wondering how we are going to collect Baby from her party without a car. We are due to pick her up in a couple of hours. My husband sets off again.

'They've got to be somewhere. He must have thrown them away or dropped them somewhere.'

When he comes back he is smiling again and happy to tell me he's got the keys. Relief all round. We've got our keys back. They're wet and muddy but we've got them back. The matter is closed. The year is starting very well! I find this amazing. We got the keys back! This is great. SO my husband decides to take the dog on an other walk - proper walk - not a playing-police-dog walk. Off they go and again I am home alone. But the vibes are good and I am am convinced this year is off to a brilliant start. I turn the radio on and cheerful Christmas music fills the house. I start cooking Sunday lunch. Sunday roast complete with mini Yorkshire puddings. I feel inspired.

Some time later I hear my husband's voice from the corridor. He sounds fretful or somehow bothered, angry even.

'Where are the keys?' He asks.

'Keys? What keys? Don't tell me they're gone again!'

A slight panic and a slight feeling that the good start of the year is slipping back out of control. My husband is pointing at the pile of wood where the keys and telephone sat waiting to be taken to the police station. They do not appear to be there ... I look up only to see my husband running out into the street.

This is turning into a bad comedy show with the husband running in and out after thieves, the dog trying to keep up and the housewife on the doorstep!

I go back to the kitchen and my cooking. If I have to be the housewife left alone I may as well do it with style. I open the fridge and get a bottle of Champagne out. I take great pleasure in popping the cork all on my own (great noise) and pour myself a glass and gulp it down to wash away the ups and downs of the last 12 hours. Goodness me! It is not even midday on day 1 of this new year and we have all this to cope with! I pour myself a second glass. This one I will sip slowly.

Quite a while later (two glasses of Champagne later) and my husband is back with some news. While I was cooking and drinking the thief came back into our corridor and helped himself to the keys and the phone that he'd given last night not knowing what my husband was after, while at it he helped himself to my nordic walking poles, a torch we use to walk the dog and our chainsaw! My husband tells me that when he was near the house back from his walk he saw a man walking carrying something orange: the chainsaw! He abandoned the dog in the corridor and chased the man again but this time with no luck.

This time we would not get our stuff back. But we'd learn a lesson: always lock the front door.