82. Bumper cars

         A few years ago when our daughter was probably around 12 and we were on holiday in the country we decided to go and spend the evening at the village fair. The girls wanted a go at the bumper cars and they were happy to share a car: one was handling the wheel and the other one the pedal, the next round they would swap. It was a weird arrangement but neither my husband nor myself was sitting in the car with them so they had to manage by themselves. Educational, you see. 

    Anyway round and round on the track they went, bumping and crashing, laughing and screaming, having the time of their life while my husband and I were looking on with proud smiles on our faces. 

    Every time there was a broken-down car in the middle of the track, the owner made his way towards it. Swirling around, he would never fail to catch the tail pole of a car and, swinging his weight onto the next one, he would reach the stalled vehicle and get it going again. It was quite impressive to watch him. He was not a young man and had obviously been doing this all his life. Now and then he would risk stepping onto the smooth polished surface and run across, stealthily dodging the tiny vehicles. A bit of a show off, but it was impressive to watch. I even thought that it was part of the deal. If it was, we got a bargain.

    Fearless and confident, he stepped in front of our girls' cart. But somehow the sight of him unsettled them. They failed to see that there was no need to get their car away from him. Turning and turning the wheel, they ended up chasing him and knocking him over! He fell on top of their bonnet in a most uncool fashion. The onlookers were stunned and the looks on their faces went from shock to worry to a hint of glee. But our daughters, in that car, could not figure out what had gone wrong. They were now desperately trying to locate the break pedal, searching the foot well of the tiny vehicle. The man managed to stand up again and after giving the girls an apparently inaudible piece of advice; he stepped back onto the polished surface trying to regain his cool. The people around the track stopped laughing and everything resumed.

    He continued his squirrel-like trips across the track and our daughters kept going round and round, with perhaps a bit more of the giggles. Again the man stepped in front of their car, again the girls panicked and turned the wheel (the one handling the break pedal could not find it) thinking to avoid the man. But if you turn the wheel all the way in these cars they go backwards. So, and to our daughters' surprise and the enjoyment of the onlookers they knocked the man all over again. This time he was flat on the bonnet and shouting at them to stop the car. But the little car continued to go round and round with the poor guy folded over on the bonnet. One daughter screaming to the other: 

'How do you break? Where's the break pedal?'

    Her sister, just like everyone on and around the track, was in stitches and could be of no help. The man this time looked extremely cross and was shouting at our daughters. He straightened up and manage to get up. In a final attempt to regain his cool, he looked ahead and started, slowly, to walk towards the edge when once more the little car went crazy and headed towards him, hitting him on the back of his legs and making him fall, backwards this time and onto the bonnet again. His backside came crashing down and he ended up settled there, looking rather ridiculous, all fours wiggling up in the air. The girls attempted an emergency stop but only ended up going round and round on the spot making it really hard for the poor fellow to keep his balance. Then everything stopped. 

    Our daughters got out of the car and came towards us as we were making our way to the nearest café. The man was swearing and shaking his arms and kicking the carts. 

    We never took these two back to this kind of attraction. Still today the mere mention of the event has everyone in the family laughing on the spot. Except right now, it has me worried! What on earth is going to happen on the day of the real driving test?  9 days to go ...