84. Driving Skills

 The discussion around the dining table went like this.

'This is going to be really strange if she passes.' The youngest member of our family says. 'I mean, she knocked down the same man three times with a car that has just one pedal and one steering wheel! And nothing else!'

'That was years ago! I know now: you let go of the pedal to brake. You turn the wheel right round like mad to go backwards.'

'Forget about that! Please! Right now!' I say, a touch worried.

'Well, your sister had driven through Paris 4 times before she sat her test! ... And failed!'

I am fearing for a big fight but our apprentice driver is not upset. She is not even trying to prove her siblings wrong.

'Look, I know I'm a poor driver. But all I have to do is pass. Not drive the guy anywhere.'

Everyone laughs.

'Yes, he won't be wanting to go anywhere! You might even put the poor guy off driving for life!'

'We'll see. Anyway my friends have given me plenty of good advice.'

'Such as?'

'Set your mirror a touch too high. So that you have to stretch your neck every time you check your mirror. And so it does not go unnoticed.'

'Oh yes!' Her older sister laughs. 'Excellent advice. And you make sure you keep checking that mirror. ... Also, wear a ponytail!'

'A ponytail?' I ask, thinking that back in my days I never got simple advice like that.

'Yes, a ponytail. So that every time you check the side mirrors for the blind spot the ponytail shakes that way and this way and bobs up and down. Then the guy knows you're doing the checks. That's all they want. CHECKS. SAFETY. SECURITY.'

'Wear a mask and sunglasses. The guy cannot see your facial expression, can't see you havent got a clue and are just acting!' 

'Stop it all of you! I can drive. OK? It is just that I have no spatial awareness.'

An other outburst of laughter.

'Cool! Spatial awareness? When driving? Who needs it?' Her brother says, mimicking her tone of voice and pulling faces.

My husband and I are looking at each other, unsure what to think, and so we say nothing. We seem to just smile politely. Once the kids have left and we are on our own, I ask my husband:

'So, what do you think?'

'A kind of lottery. She might see it as an exam that needs to be passed and tick all the boxes. Then again she might get caught in and enjoy it and forget it's a test!'

'No way! She won't forget it is a test! ... I would like her to pass but if she passes I am not sure I want her to borrow the family car!'

'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it ...'