319. Birthday wishes

 It is pouring with rain and gale force winds are blowing my umbrella away yet I am happy. It is the weekend and I am off to market but on my way I will stop at the post office to send a birthday card to my beloved son. I walk into the post office and a woman dressed in ample robes and cardigans in earth colours greets me with a broad smile. Am I in the local post office or have I stepped in a meditation club ...

'Hi! How can I help?'

I hesitate. I check for a small yellow name tag saying La Poste or a blue and yellow vest indicating that she is indeed part of this wonderful French institution. 

'I'm here to help.' She insists. 'What are you after?'

I quickly process all this in my brain and a kind of virtual print-out comes out: she does work here. The lack of uniform is to make her look more friendly and to change the image of the institution into a friendly service provider with approachable local people (she does have an accent). That is when I smile back to let her know I think this is great that they have moved from grumpy ladies dressed in yellow to members of staff looking like a mix between hippies from the 60's and zen gurus from the 2020's.

'I just want to post a letter.' I say cheerfully as I pull out a rather soggy enveloppe.

She takes a look and then looses her relaxed approach. 

'It's for England!' She glares at me as if I have offended her.

'Erm ... yes.'

'Well, it's complicated for England.'

I look puzzled. I guess England is complicated. 

'Sorry. I mean it is for le Royaume Uni!' I smile thinking of how silly I have been! Thankfully she doesn't know I am an English teacher. Hopefully I do not have her kids in my class.

'Yes, I know.'

Oh dear. I have offended her in some way. The friendly smile is gone.

'The thing is ...' She grabs my precious enveloppe and chucks it on the machine.

'23 grammes.' She looks like an English teacher spotting a big grammar mistake. 

'It's over the limit.' I want to make a joke about drinking but I don't. I want my card to be sent. 'And your stamp is not good. You need a world stamp. England is not Europe anymore so ... '

I do not want a lesson in geography. I just want a stamp. And England is just across the water after all.

'Could I have a stamp for outside Europe then please?'

'Well, you need a world stamp. Actually.'

'I'll have a world stamp then, please.'

I am getting a little worried, the way she is stressing world, how much is this going to cost me? 

'A world stamp is necessary for England, isn't'it? Especially as this letter is 3 grammes over.' She yells to an other woman dressed in the normal dress and inspiring more confidence in the institution. They start calculating the price of my stamp, one in her head and the other on her phone's calculator. I do not wait to see who is right. I smile and say I'll do it from the website. In fact I decide I could just text my son after all. He'd like that, I'm sure.